Driving home this evening, I experienced my body quickly relaxing to harmonize with the sweet, sweet soul Alicia Keys was feeding me. I feel ya, girlfriend.
For about three years, I held secret admiration for someone at my work. He’s one of the athletes I would always pass by around campus (because you totally pay attention more when you have a little crush) and while working as an athletic training intern. He rarely ever needed treatment I could help him with during my shifts. When he did go to the training room, he would simply come in, do thera-ex or heat, then leave. Independent. Mysterious. Handsome.
He wasn’t as outgoing or obnoxious as the others and never initiated conversation with anyone except for a few on his team. But he was friendly.
“‘Cause I think you’re kinda sweet.”
The first time I noticed him was after a hamstring injury through which I was asked to give him ultrasound treatment. It’s not the strongest crush I’ve had but he definitely left an impression. I would wonder about him every once in a while. Silly enough, talking to him before graduation was on my senior year bucket list. Jump to 3:34 and listen to Alicia Keys call her man from the coffee house. Just like that. I would tell him everything I observed and liked about him, ask him out, fall in love. Easy.
I could build up with how and why I never did so but to cut to the point, I have (1) traditional tendencies when it comes to dating, (2) professional conduct when it comes to work interactions, and (3) it was never more than fleeting thoughts. Add into the mix the struggle city I was living in during my last two years of undergrad and boom. But most of all, something about remaining strangers satisfied both my wants and fears.
“But peers beyond her mesh—
And wishes, and denies—
Lest Interview annul a want
That Image satisfies.”
– Emily Dickinson